How can I avoid shouting at my children?
Kids need to learn how
to treat others with respect so they can develop healthy relationships with
peers, authority figures, and family members. For years, parenting experts have
advised us to use reward and punishment to discipline our children. That seemed
to make sense. It was logical. If we want our children to exhibit a certain
behavior, reward them. Naturally , it follows that to stop unwanted behavior we
should punish our children. We yell, hit threaten and over-react to send a very
clear message to our young ones that this is a behavior we ought not see again.
You’ll be less likely
to resort to yelling if you’ve established clear household rules. Explain this
rules , in terms your child can understand. Take the time to explain the
reasons behind why you are asking him to behave in certain ways. Don’t ask your
child to do anything he cannot realistically do. Motivate your child to follow
the rules by using positive reinforcement. If there are negative consequences
for breaking the rules, there should also be positive consequences for
following the rules. Give your child plenty of positive attention to reduce
attention-seeking behaviors. So set aside a little one-on-one time each day to
motivate your child to keep up the good work.
When rules are broken, Instead
of yelling give your child a warning when she doesn't listen. A clear warning shows your child that you're serious
about being in charge. It’s crucial that your child knows that you’re going to
do what you say you will. If you threaten a punishment and then don’t act on
it, you will have less credibility the next time. Take your child's age and the
seriousness of the offense into consideration when determining a punishment.
It’s important for your child to understand that the same result will come from
the same behavior. Make your child feel like she has control over her life: If
your child behaves a certain way, they will get a certain predictable
consequence.
Teach your child that
saying, I’m sorry, doesn’t always fix things.Restitution is about doing
something kind for the victim or doing something to make reparations for the
damage that has been done. restitution may be necessary to discourage it from
happening again.